After a certain age, celebrating birthdays becomes more difficult. You probably should not eat too much cake (still on that diet, you know) and ice cream is taboo (lactose-intolerance). Dancing is out of the question (post-knee surgery recuperation), while you can’t even contemplate extreme activities, like bungee jumping or snow skiing.
Getting up early to go to IHop for over-the-top pancakes is also painful, due to both creaky muscles while climbing out of bed and the inevitable onset of indigestion afterward. Going to bed late after a night out is particularly awful, especially if you have more than one glass of wine, not to mention a steak dinner that sits on your stomach like a stone all night long. Besides, restaurants are too noisy and you can’t hear anything anyone says to you anyway. In addition, if it is in one of those restaurants where they bring you a candle stuck in a day-old brownie as a gift while you have to wear a funny hat and the entire wait staff sings to you, then you wish you had never gone in the first place.
You receive only a few cards and phone calls congratulating you on reaching this milestone, because there are fewer people you know who are still around to contact you. What’s more, you can’t hear people talking on the phone and you always get a paper cut when opening an envelope because you can’t ever remember where the letter opener is.
You’ve already ‘been there, done that’ for roller skating, sleepovers, and movie dates. Nevertheless, I wish you a very Happy Birthday!!